yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
