Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
