You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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