Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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