How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm at about main and main street
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
