We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
