So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize