If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The air was thick with penises
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
