Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
