Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
