walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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