Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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