if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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