So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize