This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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