I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
