Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize