How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
