Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
