I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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