oh my god i'm in a crawl space
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
