I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
