Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
