Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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