its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
