to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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