I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
