I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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