Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
