I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
