yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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