It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize