smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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