remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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