He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
