I'm so fucking centered right now
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
