you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
