Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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