I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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