Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
