I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
