My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
