I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
