theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
