but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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