Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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