He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
