I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
