There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
