the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
