and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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