kristin has been a bad kristin
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
