but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
