I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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