is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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