Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
