Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
