i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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