so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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