Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
