i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
