Don't you send me to vm
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
