Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i out mim tonsoeep
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