The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
