took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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